- (via zetuslapeatis)
Years ago, I was in therapy with an amazing woman named Dr. Stella Resnick. In the session I told her how effective I was becoming at calming my anxiety and reducing emotional tension. She asked me how I did this.
“Well” I said, “I say to myself, shhhhhh, everything is okay. Calm down.”
I was very proud of my approach, which helped me avoid relying on either a few glasses of wine, or some poor bystander, to diffuse my emotional intensity.
So I was shocked when she looked straight at me and replied “That’s not how you should do it at all.”
What followed was simple but life changing. She said the way to navigate all emotions was just to breathe. Not to shush yourself, or talk to yourself, only breathe. Further, she proclaimed, breathing is the secret to everything. If you want to have great sex, good communication, healthy intimacy, a sense of aliveness, the answer she said was to breathe. (She was also a sex therapist so I was inspired to listen up.)"